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I suppose I shouldn’t feel guilty. But I do. In 1998, our ever trusting Canadian cousins bought four ex Royal Navy submarines for C$750m (about £470m at today's exchange rate). Bad move! The Canadians bought rust buckets and have spent a
fortune getting them ready to put to sea. Only now – 14 years after the purchase – is the re-fitted
HMCS Windsor ship-shape. Well, sort of. I’ve been following the fortunes of these submarines for
over a decade. In 2002, four years after their sale to the Canadians, I was
told that the cost of making the submarines fit to put to sea was commercially
confidential. I then discovered that the subs were sold without a warranty
covering their design and build. The subs were decommissioned in 1994 and taken out of
service by the Royal Navy after spending – for the four of them – a combined
total of 1,077 days at sea. HMS Ursula was at sea for a mere 199 days before it was
decided she was surplus to requirements. Three of the four submarines, now reincarnated as Her
Majesty’s Canadian Subs, are expected to be operational next year – an
incredible 15 years after their purchase. Defence procurement is, and always has been, a national
scandal.
On both sides of the Atlantic. Here in Canada, the entire political establishment is
focussed on the F-35 scandal where the Conservative Harper Government knowingly
deceived Parliament and the nation by claiming the super expensive fast jets
Canada is buying from the US are a lot cheaper than is, apparently, the case. There is a staggering C$10 billion gap between what the
Auditor General says is the true cost of the fighter programme and what the
Harper Government says. The F-35s featured prominently in last year’s Federal
election campaign.
The Conservatives, who were returned to power with a clear
majority, persuaded Canadians their sums were right. When they were wrong. Here, the CBC's political pundits, assess the damage to the Harper Government.
Lord Ahmed If there is ever a case for electing the House of Lords we
need look no further than Lord Ahmed. Did he or did he not offer a bounty on Barack Obama? Who knows? But it sounds plausible to me. Just the kind of thing that would get a tumultuous round of
applause from any audience in Pakistan. Lord Ahmed gets coverage because he is a Peer of the Realm
and his utterances are, by that fact alone, intrinsically newsworthy. Had he
remained a fishmonger in Rotherham I doubt his views would be reported so
widely. His peerage gives him a platform to say what he wants to
say. (That’s why John Prescott took a peerage. Not to please his
wife. Not for the fine dining. Oh
no no no!) But Lord Ahmed got me thinking about Pakistan. This is what the late Christopher Hitchens had to say in
Vanity Fair, published in July last year and re-published in his compendium of
essays, Arguably, which I am currently dipping into.
…(quoting myself from 2001) if
Pakistan were a person, he (and it would have to be a he) would have to be
completely humourless, paranoid, insecure, eager to take offence, and suffering
from self-righteousness, self-pity and self-hatred.
That last triptych of vices is
intimately connected. The self-righteousness comes from the claim to represent
a religion: The very name “Pakistan” is an acronym of Punjab, Afghanistan,
Kashmir, and so forth, the resulting word in the Urdu language meaning “Land of
the Pure”.
The self-pity derives from the
sad fact that the country has almost nothing to be proud of: virtually barren
of achievements and historically based on an amputation and mutilation of India
in 1947 and its own self-mutilation in Bangladesh.
The self-hatred is the
consequence of being pathetically, permanently mendicant: an abject
begging-bowl country that is nonetheless run by a super-rich and hyper-corrupt
Punjabi elite. As for paranoia: This not so hypothetical Pakistani would also
be a hardened anti-Semite, moaning with pleasure at the butchery of Daniel
Pearl and addicted to blaming his self-inflicted woes on the all-powerful Jews.
Whoa! Steady on.
Hitchens was never one to mince his words. But there is some truth there. Pakistan is a completely dysfunctional country, surviving on financial transfusions from the loathed United States. Their military spending, for example, is out of control
while illiteracy, especially amongst women and girls, is scandalously high –
and tolerated. In private conversations, Pakistanis - at home and in
the overseas diaspora – readily admit the country, mired in corruption, is a
complete basket case. Few are brave enough to say so out loud.
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